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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28084725">Returning Nightmares, Only Shadows</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragon_Overlord_Yuu/pseuds/Dragon_Overlord_Yuu'>Dragon_Overlord_Yuu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comfort Sex, Fun! :D, Goro's self-loathing invasive thoughts, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kinda?, M/M, Nightmares, Praise Kink, Ren Amamiya single-handedly rids Goro of nightmare with his dick lmao, Ren is a good supportive boyfriend, no beta we die like kunikazu okumura</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:15:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,360</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28084725</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragon_Overlord_Yuu/pseuds/Dragon_Overlord_Yuu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Cast some light and you'll be alright, for now.</i> </p><p>Goro wakes, haunted by the demons of his past. Ren picks up the pieces.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>95</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Returning Nightmares, Only Shadows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>lmao don't expect anything too spectacular. I hadn't written smut in a minute so I'm still a bit rusty</p><p>Title is a lyric from Crosses by Jose Gonzalez</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Goro dreams of a small dingy apartment. The one he spent the first eight years of his life in. The one where his mother supposedly had given birth to him alone, because apparently she was too ashamed to even go to the hospital without a loving partner by her side. </p><p>It was the same as he remembered so vividly: the stale, musty air. The patches of mold that lurked in the corners. The yellowing tatami mats torn up with age. It was by no means glamorous or comfortable, but it was nonetheless a home for a single mother and her bastard son. </p><p>A familiar figure was hunched in a corner, her body trembling as quiet sobs wracked through her. It was a common occurrence when he returned from the bathhouse after the man she had brought home for the night had left. </p><p>Goro instinctively reached out for her, not seeming the least bit concerned with the fact his hand was much smaller than usual. “Mommy?” he called out, his voice smaller and higher pitched.  </p><p>“Why…?”</p><p>Goro stops his hand just before his fingers could make contact with her. He felt like his veins had been replaced with ice at that single word his mother had uttered, keeping him frozen in his place.</p><p>“Why did you have to be born, Goro?” She looks up at him, finally, her wine red eyes hardened in seething hatred, “Do you know how they all look at me, Goro!? How they talk behind my back!?” </p><p>Goro wanted to apologize to her. Apologize for being the reason she sells herself out to men every night just to survive. Apologize for being the reason the neighborhood housewives gossip about her with hushed voices and judgmental stares. Apologize for ruining her life to the point she took her own life out of shame. Before a sound could be uttered from his mouth, she suddenly lunged for him. Her hands wrapped themselves around his tiny neck, slowly wringing out the air in his lungs as she tightened her grip. </p><p>“I should’ve gotten rid of you when I had the chance! You’re just a parasite that just eats away at my life! I wish you were never born!” She shrieked, her voice echoing through the tiny apartment and ringing in his ears.</p><p>“I...I’m...sorry…” He barely manages to choke out. But he knows that would fall on deaf ears. </p><p>Deep down, Goro knows. This wasn’t the mother he remembers. He remembers how she would bandage the scrapes on his knees and sing him a little song, claiming it was a charm to make it feel better. He remembers her smile when he ran around the park with his toy ray gun, pretending to be a damsel in distress for her little hero to rescue. He remembers the warm buttery smell of her homemade pancakes that she only made on special days when she was in a good mood and work didn’t wear her out as much. The mother he remembers loved him.</p><p>But apparently not enough to stay around for him. Perhaps this hateful, rage-filled effigy his subconscious had conjured up was how she truly felt all along. </p><p>The scene changes before his eyes. He’s now standing in their bathroom. Her hands weren’t on his throat anymore, but the reeking stench of death still suffocated him all the same as he stared vacantly into the bathtub. An image that’s been long burned into his mind and haunts him forever. A bloody kitchen knife clattered on the dirty tile floor. His mother was floating in the tub of red, her dull, vacant eyes having lost any sign of life a long time ago. </p><p>His body shakes, his mouth open agape. He couldn’t hear it, but perhaps he was screaming. Or sobbing desperate apologies to his mother, as if it would somehow bring back her gentle, loving self again. </p><p>The scene shifts again. He was older now, standing in that concrete interrogation room. The gun in his hand has never felt so heavy. Not even when he cornered Wakaba Isshiki’s Shadow and left a young girl without her mother. Not even when he took so many lives so effortlessly for the sake of a poorly thought out revenge plan against his father.</p><p>Yet when he had it aimed at Ren’s forehead, it felt like a lead weight he could never let go of no matter how desperately he wanted to. </p><p>“What’s wrong, Akechi?” He hears Shido’s voice in his head, “Hurry it up already. You don’t want to disappoint me, don’t you? I’m the one that gave you a purpose, after all. I gave a meaning to your worthless existence.” </p><p>“No!” He so badly wants to scream, but no sound comes out of his mouth. He can’t bring himself to put a bullet in Ren’s head. Ren was his only friend and his rival. His equal. His other half. The boy he…</p><p>“Loved?” Shido’s voice finished his thought. His empty laughter rings in Goro’s head, like a parasite that wouldn’t leave his mind, “Oh, that’s rich! Do you honestly think he could ever love a disgusting creature like you? After all that you’ve done? After deceiving him and his comrades so you can end his life with a single bullet?”</p><p>Goro grits his teeth. How very like Shido to shift the blame onto him, even in his own subconscious. Acting like he wasn’t the one who gave Goro the order to begin with. The worst part of it all was, Goro believed him, deep down. He knew Ren could never forgive him for anything that he’s done. He left two of Ren’s friends without their parents without a second thought. </p><p>“You’re a monster, Akechi. All the more reason to kill him.” </p><p>Goro’s hand moved on its own, despite his best attempts at resistance. His body doesn’t feel like its own. Of course not. Perhaps it was just the haziness of the dream, but he thought he saw red strings tied around his limbs, directing his movements as if he were a puppet. There was no dramatic, triumphant bang as there was a silencer on the gun. In a split second, there was a brilliant red splattered on the wall behind Ren. Goro felt himself jolt as Ren’s head hit the table with a sickening thud. He could feel the bile rising up his throat as the familiar scent of death filled his lungs once more.</p><p>He moved to plant the gun in Ren’s hand, when it suddenly grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him close to the now reanimated corpse before him.</p><p>“Why did you do this, Goro?” Ren asked, blood dripping down his face from the hole in his forehead. “I trusted you. You could’ve been one of us. You could’ve had the friends you’ve always wanted. Why did you ruin it for yourself?” </p><p>The Detective Prince stays silent, as he knew there was no response in the world that could ever satisfy Ren. Goro wonders what would’ve happened if he didn’t shoot Sae’s cognition of Ren. Would the real Ren be cursing him with his last breath like this? If he would, Goro deserved all of it.</p><p>Ren’s dull, lifeless eyes seethed with hatred. The same gaze as his mother’s. Ren laughs bitterly when Goro doesn’t give him an answer. “Ah, of course. Someone with so much blood on their hands doesn’t deserve any of that. That’s what makes us―me better than you. And you know that, don’t you? That’s why you killed me so easily, right? Because you can’t stand the fact that I surpass you in every way. That I have what you don’t.” </p><p>“N―no...that’s not…” </p><p>Before Goro could say anything else, Ren’s form dissolved before him into a melting puddle of black ooze. It flooded at his feet before him, the thick tar-like substance taking the form of hands that clung to him. His head ached at the cacophony of noise that rang in his mind until it was all he could process. Anguished wails echoed all around him as the darkness swallowed him slowly. He tries to concentrate on the individual voices cursing him in an effort to alleviate the overwhelming noise. He could make out the cries of Wakaba Isshiki, calling out for Futaba in her final moments. He hears Kunikazu Okumura lamenting his fate as he is left unable to make amends with his daughter Haru. Ren Amamiya regretting having ever met Goro, wishing he had never placed his trust in him in the first place.</p><p>The last thing he heard was his mother’s voice, weeping for the monster her son had become. That she was proven right. She should’ve never brought Goro Akechi into the world. </p><p>With that, Goro succumbs completely and lets the manifestation of his guilt consume him, enveloping him in suffocating darkness. </p><hr/><p>Goro shot up from his bed with a scream. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears. His short ragged breaths filled the silent room. Even though he had returned to the waking world, he could still hear the voices cursing him in his mind until it was the only thing he could process. He curled up in a ball, desperately pressing his hands against his ears in an attempt to block out the noise. But all that ended up doing was make Goro spiral further into a panic. </p><p>Everything was just...Too. <em> Loud </em>.</p><p>The large lump of blankets beside him stirred, but his mind was too chaotic to even realize it. </p><p> “Goro…?” </p><p>Goro jumped at the groggy voice calling out to him. </p><p>“Ren....Ren...Ren…Ren...” Goro repeated the name like a mantra. It was the only word that was easy enough to say in his addled state, between panicked breaths. </p><p>“Shush, it’s okay…take a few deep breaths, just like we always do.” Ren gingerly reached for his shaking boyfriend, resting his hands upon his shoulders. Just like magic, Ren’s touch seemed to have alleviated Goro’s mind just enough for him to do what Ren asked of him. He takes a slow, deep breath and follows up with another and another.</p><p>“There we go...now try to match your breaths with mine.” Ren says, taking Goro’s hand and placing it on his chest. He takes slow, steady breaths, letting Goro feel the rise and fall of his chest as he did so.  </p><p>Goro’s hyperventilating slows eventually, just enough for him to regulate his breathing and time it with Ren’s. Slowly but surely, his mind quiets down until the only thing he could process was their synchronized breaths filling the uncomfortable silence. </p><p>“Better?” </p><p>Goro wordlessly nodded in response, still too shaken to properly form words. But he still feels comforted knowing Ren won’t push him. </p><p>“Was it a bad dream again?” Ren asked gently.</p><p>Goro nods again and that was enough of an answer to Ren. Ren doesn’t ask about what the nightmare was about. He doesn’t want to agitate his boyfriend further forcing him to recall the terrors that had woken him from his slumber. Besides he knew already. It was a recurring nightmare that had woken Goro numerous times. </p><p>Ren slowly reaches for Goro again, as if any sudden movement could scare him again. His arms wrapped around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. Goro lets himself surrender to Ren’s warmth, burying his face in the crook of his shoulder. He takes a deep breath, inhaling the faint scent of coffee that always seemed to cling to Ren’s skin.</p><p>“It’s alright...I’m here. I’ll keep you safe here, Goro.” Ren murmurs gently, rubbing small circles into Goro’s back. </p><p>Oddly enough, those words did not comfort Goro like they usually did. Such loving, gentle words stung like venom in Goro’s heart. They were like hot chocolate: meant to be sweet, but much too scalding to be enjoyable. Goro didn’t feel like they weren’t meant for him. Someone like him…</p><p>“Why do you do all this for me…?” He finally says, his voice so small, Ren could’ve missed it if he were not paying attention. </p><p>“I love you, Goro. Do I really need another reason?” </p><p>“How can you? After everything I did to your friends? To you?” Goro asked, not making any effort to hold back the sobs bubbling up in his throat, “How can you hold me like this knowing I have so much blood on my hands? That I ruined so many people for my own selfish gain?" </p><p>“That’s all in the past, Goro. That person isn’t you anymore.” Ren replied simply, “You can’t change the past, but you’re trying to be better now and that’s all that matters.” </p><p>God, he doesn’t know if he hates it or if he’s glad that Ren Amamiya was so stubborn. After all, that stubbornness was what led Ren to that rehab center nearly two years later, after Futaba Sakura had unearthed the information despite his best efforts to wipe himself off the grid. He couldn’t bring himself to face Ren after he had woken up February 3rd after they had purged Maruki’s delusional fairy tale reality. He honestly hoped Ren would just believe he was dead. Forget about him and move on. Ren deserved someone so much better. Someone whole. Goro was just pieces barely held together with safety pins and duct tape. Why would Ren waste his time with一</p><p>“Goro, I can see you about to spiral into self-loathing again.” Ren’s voice pulled Goro out of his thoughts. He plants a soft little kiss on Goro’s forehead, “I love you, okay? I chose you. You deserve love and I want to give it to you.”</p><p>Goro knows he’s being unfair to Ren and he hates it. All his life, all he ever wanted was to be loved. To be special to someone. For someone to tell him that it was okay for him to exist. Ren, so genuine and sincere, gave him all of that and yet, in a cruel twist of irony, Goro’s gut instinct was to push him away, feeling like he didn’t deserve any of it after all.</p><p>Ren pressed his lips against Goro’s before he could try to argue. He knows he can’t just single-handedly rid Goro of his demons, as much as he wishes he could. If all the love and affection in the world could just make Goro love himself more, make him feel like he was worthy, he would provide it all in a heartbeat.</p><p>He still tries, though. If it makes things a little bit easier for Goro, if it could provide him an ounce of comfort, he’ll be more than happy to give Goro everything the world had taken away from him. </p><p>It seems to be helping a bit now as he felt Goro’s body relax in his arms, as if he was melting into the warmth of Ren’s kiss. Goro let short, breathy moans escape into the kiss as Ren melded his lips against his. They fit together so perfectly. As if they were made for each other and each other alone. </p><p>Goro’s hands began to wander on their own accord. They unwound themselves from Ren’s waist and found themselves under his shirt. Ren shudders when he felt Goro’s cool fingers trace every ripple of muscle on his stomach with so much care and tenderness, as if he was trying to commit every detail of Ren to memory. Goro gently caresses Ren wherever he could touch, admiring how toned he was from all his excursions in the Metaverse. </p><p>Ren grips around Goro’s waist as one of Goro’s hands travels lower, tracing along the V of Ren’s hips before hooking a finger on the waistband of his boxer-briefs. </p><p>“Wait…” Ren gently pries Goro’s hands off of him, “I know what you’re about to do, but are you okay? You’re not exactly emotionally sound right now.” </p><p>Goro shook his head, “No, it’s fine. I want to just forget for a bit. I want to.” </p><p>“If you say so...but if you don’t like it, feel free to stop me at any time.” </p><p>The former detective rolls his eyes, “You worry too goddamn much. Just get on with it already or I’ll do it myself.” </p><p>“Bossy.” Ren huffs playfully. </p><p>He pulls Goro into another kiss, this one just as heated and intense as their last. In the haze of their passion, Goro had found himself lying back on the bed, trapped under Ren as their hands caressed any inch of each other’s skin they could find.</p><p>Ren pulls away so he could tug off Goro’s shirt and throws it carelessly aside like an afterthought. Goro does the same before they turn their attention back to indulging in each other. Goro lets out soft little whimpers when Ren dives for his neck, kissing and nibbling love bites onto Goro’s pale skin, marking him all the way down to his collarbone. Once has marked up Goro to his liking, he still trails down lower to leave smaller kisses on Goro’s chest, each one lighting up Goro’s nerves like fireworks in his veins. Then Ren reached the star-shaped scar just above Goro’s heart. </p><p>Goro felt a sting shoot through his chest as Ren stared at the scar solemnly, the both of them finding themselves remembering back to Shido’s Palace. Where Goro showed Ren the ugliest parts of himself that he kept locked away behind a carefully constructed mask. He thought Ren would hate him for sure after that. But instead, Ren extended a hand to him all the same, offering a chance at atonement and forgiveness. A chance at freedom.</p><p>He really wished he would’ve taken it back then, but Shido’s cognition of him came and ripped it all away. Proving once and for all that those things weren’t meant for him. It was for the best that he let his cognitive double shoot him. The only way he could truly redeem himself was to die for all the atrocities he committed. And he should’ve just stayed—</p><p>Unexpectedly, Ren leans down to gently kiss at his scar, yanking him out of the dark thoughts that began to creep up on him. For some reason, the scar tissue there felt much more sensitive, a strange comforting warmth bursting from the spot Ren kissed and spreading throughout his body. He feels Ren pouring all of his love into that one little gesture. To Ren, that scar was a reminder that Goro had survived. That the love of his life was here with him, living and breathing. </p><p>Ren pauses for a moment to admire the man he absolutely adored. The only thing illuminating him was the street lights shining through their window, but god, Goro still looked absolutely stunning. His face was flushed a bright pink just from a few kisses and light touches. He was panting heavily under Ren, trying to catch his breath through pink parted lips. Ren was so tempted to kiss them again. But he knows Goro would get annoyed if he dragged this on for too long, so he holds off on that thought for now. </p><p>He reached for Goro’s Featherman pajama pants (he still made fun of them to this day, much to Goro’s annoyance) and pulled them off, finding himself pleasantly surprised to find there was nothing else under them. A shiver wracked Goro’s spine as the cool air of the room hit his half-hard cock. That was quickly remedied when Ren’s warm hand grasped at it, gently stroking it a few times at a lazy pace to let his lover savor the feeling for a bit.</p><p>“Ah...Ren…don’t stop...” Goro barely managed to gasp out between breaths.</p><p>Ren couldn’t help but chuckle at how desperate and adorable his lover was,  “I don’t plan to, Honey.” </p><p>He picks up his pace slightly, spurred on by Goro bucking his hips to meet the strokes of his hand. He feels Goro’s cock hardening even more under his touch as he pauses to tease the tip, rubbing at it gently with the pad of his thumb the way he knows Goro likes. From the sounds coming out of Goro’s mouth alone, he could feel his own mind slipping away into the haze of arousal.</p><p>It seems Goro noticed this as well, his crimson eyes fixed on the growing bulge in Ren’s tight boxer-briefs. Without a second thought, Goro reaches for the waistband once again and slips his hand under it, feeling Ren’s bare cock throbbing against the palm of his hand. Ah, he might as well return the favor then. </p><p>With that thought in mind, he starts rubbing at Ren’s cock, relishing in the low groans that fell from his lover’s parted lips. Soft sighs and quiet moans filled the quiet, empty air as the two lovers completely shut the rest of the world out of their minds. Goro was glad for that at least, as he had completely forgotten about the nightmare conjured up from his past traumas...for now. The only coherent thing his mind could process was Ren and Ren alone. Ren’s touch, his voice, his scent, his <em> everything </em>...it was all his.</p><p>Goro gently squeezed at Ren’s growing erection, just to gauge his reaction. He sees Ren jolt slightly in response to his touch and he couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride knowing he made the cocky leader of the Phantom Thieves melt with just his hands. </p><p>“Fuck...Goro…” Ren growls as Goro continues to touch his cock, his long fingers tracing along the shaft in a slow teasing motion.</p><p>Goro doesn’t get to relish in it for long, though, as Ren grabbed at his hand, nudging it to tell him to remove it. Without much protest, Goro does so and Ren pulls back for a moment so that he could remove his underwear, pushing it down past his hips just enough to free his cock. He crawls back on top of Goro, nudging his cock up against Goro’s ever so slightly. Goro gasps in surprise and finds himself grinding his hips in an attempt to rub himself against Ren even more. Luckily for him, his boyfriend wasn’t feeling particularly teasing tonight and indulges Goro without hesitation. Ren loosely grasps both of their erections in his hand and starts moving his hips along with Goro. The wonderful friction completely shattered any sort of rational thought from Ren’s mind. He desperately grinds against Goro’s hot throbbing cock, wanting to bring the both of them just a bit closer to the edge. At the same time, he starts to move his hand again, stroking both of their cocks at a steady pace and only stopping occasionally to tease the heads, coaxing out as much precum as he could. </p><p>“Ren...please...I...I want…” </p><p>“Yes, Goro? Anything for you.” Ren said softly, caressing Goro’s cheek with his unoccupied hand, gazing at him with such adoration and reverence. </p><p>Goro tangled his fingers in Ren’s dark curls and looked him dead in the eye, despite his lust-filled state, “I want...you in me...right now.” </p><p>Ren merely kissed Goro’s forehead in affirmation. “Okay.” </p><p>He reached over to their bedside drawer, briefly digging around miscellaneous items before he finally unearthed their bottle of lube. For some reason, Goro sort of felt time had slowed down as he was left untouched and wanting as he watched Ren uncap the bottle and pour a generous amount onto his fingers. Goro’s breath hitches when he felt Ren’s slicked-up fingers gently trace around his rim for a moment before easing in two of them into his tight entrance. Ren waits patiently for Goro to relax around him just enough so that he could actually move his fingers. Slowly but surely, Ren was able to pump his fingers in and out little by little. Goro’s short, breathy moans rang in his ears, encouraging him to pick up the pace, scissoring his fingers as wide as he possibly could in an effort to open up his lover even more. </p><p>As much as he would like to tease Goro like this forever, content with feeling Goro’s tight heat grip at his fingers, Ren could pick up on how Goro was getting needy for more simulation, no longer satisfied with just his fingers alone. Ren pulls out his fingers and Goro whines at the sudden emptiness. He isn’t left that way for long, though. Ren tugs off his underwear the rest of the way down and throws it into the ever growing pile of clothes on the floor. His hands gently grip at Goro’s thighs, prying them apart just so he could settle himself in between them. The bottle of lube has returned to his hand, this time squeezing the contents out onto his cock. Ren shudders as he slathers the cold substance all over, before pressing the tip of his cock at Goro’s entrance.</p><p>“Are you okay now?” </p><p>“I’m fine, just get on with it already.” Goro insisted, half out of irritation, half out of desperation. “Honestly, you worry so much, it’s annoying.” </p><p>Ren let out a playful laugh, “Nothing wrong with that. I only worry because I care about you so much. You know that, right?” </p><p>With another loving kiss on Goro’s forehead, he slowly pushed his way in. Goro lets out a strangled cry as he felt Ren stretch him much more than his fingers had done, a dull, searing pain shooting up his spine. His hands gripped at the sheets below him, turning bone-white with just how tightly he’s grasping at them. Ren, meanwhile, tries his best to distract his lover from the initial pain. His hands caressed Goro’s cheeks and stroked his silky caramel brown hair as he continued to pepper Goro’s face with kisses.</p><p>“You’re doing so well, Goro...you’re taking me in so nicely…” Ren pauses so that he could shower his lover with even more gentle kisses, “I love you so much...my precious, beautiful Goro…” </p><p>Goro felt his heart flutter as words of endless praise fell from Ren’s lips, which was probably a good sign at the moment. It just meant that his mind wasn’t screaming at him to remind him that he isn’t deserving of such care. In fact, he wants more of it. He wants to hear Ren’s smooth, deep voice to speak of nothing other than his adoration of Goro. </p><p>“You okay now?” Ren finally asks once again, gingerly brushing away a stray strand of hair from Goro’s face. </p><p>Now that he brought it up, Goro realized that the pain had subsided, giving way to sweet, sweet pleasure instead. Goro couldn’t find it in him to chide Ren this time. He just lets out a hum of approval to let Ren know it’s okay for him to continue. Ren jerks his hips forward, sheathing himself all the way inside. He throws his head back, letting out a low, guttural moan as he took the moment to relish in the feeling of Goro’s tight heat coiling around him in a vice-like grip. He pulls his hips back for a moment before thrusting himself back in again. The pace was awkward at first, but he quickly found a consistent, steady rhythm that felt good for the both of them. Ren was gentler than usual, slower, Goro noticed. But he doesn’t mind it somehow. He realizes Ren is deliberately softer this time around, because he wants the both of them to savor the feeling for as long as possible. Goro’s soft moans and quiet sighs were like a sweet song in Ren’s ears, making him feel dizzy as he fell deeper into pure indulgent bliss.  </p><p>“Fuck...you feel so good...you’re so good, Goro…”</p><p>Goro nearly screams when he felt Ren hit that bundle of nerves inside of him, making him feel like there was electricity shooting through his veins. Ren couldn’t help but smirk triumphantly as he deliberately hit that spot again, just to watch Goro squirm under him. Goro snakes his arms around Ren’s neck, pulling him down into another kiss. Ren continues thrusting steadily into Goro, all the while repeatedly assaulting his prostate with his cock. He groans into Goro’s lips as Goro eagerly tightened around him, as if trying to suck more of Ren into him. </p><p>Neither of them knew how long it had been. It could’ve been hours for all they knew, but then again, time seemed like an illusion to the both of them at this point. Ren feels a familiar white-hot heat pool in his gut and he knows he’s slowly approaching his limit. He reaches for Goro’s neglected cock, stroking it in time with his thrusts. He quickened his pace a little bit, trying to bring himself closer to the edge. With one hard thrust, Ren came first, his whole body trembling as he released deep inside Goro. </p><p>Despite the oversensitivity now settling in, he still thrusts his hips into Goro, hoping it would be enough to bring his lover to orgasm. It didn’t take him much more effort, as it turned out. Soon after, Goro cries out as he climaxes as well, his twitching cock spurting out thick strings of white all over Ren and himself. </p><p>The two of them panted heavily as they came down from their high. Crimson eyes met silvery grey as they looked upon each other with loving gazes, the both of them exhausted and a little sore, but content nonetheless.</p><p>Ren pulls himself out of Goro, feeling his lover wince at the emptiness. He tiredly dropped himself onto Goro’s chest, tucking his head under his chin. He’ll worry about the mess later, but for now he just wants to indulge in his lover for a little longer.</p><p>“You feel better now, yeah?” he murmurs quietly as he nuzzles against the crook of Goro’s neck.</p><p>“Much.” Goro replied as he affectionately buried his face into Ren’s fluffy black hair, “Thank you, Ren.” </p><p>Ren takes Goro’s hand for a moment, taking note of the thin, silvery scars slashed across his forearm. He couldn’t imagine what Goro went through in the two years they were apart, but he had a pretty good idea of how hard the recovery process had been for him. He knows Goro is the type of person who dislikes having debts go unpaid and feels that Ren has done so much for him. He basically gave Goro a second chance at life. So he’s resolved to be better, so that he can become someone who deserves it.</p><p>It was an understatement to say Ren was immensely happy that Goro was here with him. Goro has been through so much and the world took so much from him. Goro was so strong, so resilient and Ren wants to make damn sure Goro knows that. Without thinking, he pressed his lips against Goro’s arm, gingerly kissing along the scars like he was a delicate object.</p><p>Goro pulled his hand away from Ren, instead letting his arms snake around his waist, pulling him further into a loving embrace with Ren’s long legs tangling with his. </p><p>“Hey Goro, you think your therapist would mind if we bumped up the appointment to tomorrow?” Ren asked, “I don’t think you’re in a good place mentally if you keep having nightmares like this regularly...I mean, as much as I enjoyed that, it’s not quite the appropriate substitute for a medical professional.” </p><p>“I don’t know, Ren. It helps somewhat.” Goro says jokingly, “I’ll ask them in the morning. Don’t worry about it so much.” </p><p>“I can’t help it, Honey...I just wanna make sure you’re okay. I just love you so much一”</p><p>Goro smiles softly, “I know you do, Ren.” </p><p>Those simple words acted like balm to Ren’s mind. It’s been small moments so far, but Goro’s slowly starting to realize that he is truly loved and cared for. That Ren cherishes him so dearly. There will come a day where Goro no longer doubts himself, when he’s no longer chained by the sins of his past. Ren doesn’t know when that will be, but he swears he will be by Goro’s side every step of the way.</p><p>So for now, this was enough. <br/><br/></p>
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